Sunday, March 10, 2013

Our God is Greater {Part 2}

So, I wrote last week that God had been speaking to me through the Chris Tomlin song, "Our God."  And I've listened to that song several times since then.

So, before I tell the story, you need a little explanation.  I've been going through a pretty rough time for a while.  For some reasons I'd rather not share on the internet at this point, my life has been pretty hard.  I've been struggling emotionally with many areas of my life.  It's taken a toll on me, on Thomas' and my relationship, on my spiritual life.  And I've really had trouble believing that God is looking at me with love.  Mostly, I feel like a whiny, selfish child, and so I feel like God sees me like that.

But, anyway.  I've been praying really hard for some changes in my life.  And I have felt so lost.  Like I'm stumbling around in the dark begging for someone to turn on the light.  Feeling like, if only I was good enough, surely God would turn on the light for me.  I pray for God to make his will known to me.  I just want his will for my life.  I am desperate for it.  But, no matter how much I pray, I still feel lost.

I'm terrified that I will miss God's will.  That I will miss something amazing that he has planned for me.  I'm earnestly praying to do his will, but at the same time, I have no idea what that is, so how can I do it?!

So, in comes the part 2 of "Our God":

With this song continuing to recur, I was only a little surprised when I opened up the bulletin at church this morning to see that the choir song was none other than "Our God."  I promptly leaned over to Thomas and said that apparently God still wasn't done with me and that song yet.

And oh, was I right!

The song started, and I was just enjoying the music.  And then the chorus started, and it was like I could hear God speaking to me audibly through the song.  Tears flooded my eyes.  I finally GOT it.  I finally understood what God has been trying to tell me over and over again.

He is greater than my fears.  He is greater than my doubts.  He is greater than my confusion.  (I'm tearing up right now, writing this.)

If I am earnestly seeking Him and his will, He will not hide it from me.  He is not putting it under a cup and switching all the cups around to see if I'll pick the right one.  He doesn't want me to fail!  He will lay it out for me.  If I make sure my heart is open, He will not lead me astray.

I was up most of the night Saturday struggling with this problem.  And He answered my prayers in full force on Sunday morning.  Hallelujah!  I feel more peace about this than I have in a long, long time.

Now, I will say that it still bugs me that I don't know what his will is yet.  And I can almost guarantee I will have more times of doubt.  But I have peace knowing that He will lead me, and I will follow.

I pray that whatever you are going through right now, that God will reveal his greatness, love, faithfulness, and peace to you in whatever way you need.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your lovely comment! Have a great week!