Monday, May 26, 2014

Things I Won't Miss About Florida

Well here's a comical post... Imagine, if you will, that I am sitting at my computer laughing as I type this post, because I am.

There are a lot of things I will miss about Florida (our friends, our church, the beach, some restaurants, the endless summer, the outdoor lifestyle, etc.), but since that would make for a sappy post that no one would want to read, I'm going to list some of the things I won't miss about this lovely state.  And they're pretty ridiculous.

(If you're a Florida native and you've never lived anywhere else, you may not want to read this post.  It just might shatter your bubble because you probably don't notice some of these things.)

These aren't in any real order.  I don't really want to take the time to rank these by how much I dislike them.  That's too much negative thought, and I don't need that in my life.  Lol.

1.  Insects!  I definitely will not miss the plethora of stupid insects that Florida has to offer.  Namely cockroaches, love bugs, crazy-insanely-large grasshoppers, beetles, and so many others I don't even know their names.  Yuck.  I love Florida's endless summer weather, but one freeze a year to kill all those suckers would not be a bad thing.

2.  Huge birds.  Yeah, I'm sort of scared of birds.  Mainly because they can move really fast, and there is always the possibility that they could decide to attack your head and/or poop on you at any moment.  And Florida has a lot of big birds.  In Missouri, they're more like oh-how-pretty, look-at-the-songbird kind of birds.  Here, they're big... and scary.

3.  Stop lights.  Yes, we have stoplights in Missouri also.  However, they are not bane-of-my-existence, are-we-ever-going-to-move-more-than-five-feet-before-we-hit-another-one, worst-timing-in-the-world stoplights.  The stop lights here are absolutely horrid.  That's probably one of my biggest pet peeves because they are EVERYWHERE!  Ugh.  I won't miss those.

4.  The many different kinds of drivers in Florida.  Yeah, crazy 16 year olds driving on the same roads as blind 90 year olds is not fun.  Traffic... it causes a lot of traffic.

So really, there are two main categories of things I won't miss... some of the less appealing wildlife and traffic.  Lol.

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